Can I be honest here? I think so. I’ve just had one of those mornings. A. I am super sore from doing Stephen’s water carry with him last night (@wynne4 for all the pics on instagram) and B. well, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m trying to blame it on hormoes, or something like that. My prayer time + prayer journal this morning said things like, “god, can you even hear my prayers? are my prayers fake?” [talk about transparency]. So many things are swirling around in my head, so many prayers, and so much of this season seems confusing. Maybe confusing is the wrong word, but the future just seems too far out there. Stephen keeps saying we are in a season of “transition”. But who knows where we are transitioning to? I’ve watched some pretty incredible things happen in the lives of some good friends lately [in the form of new jobs, new moves, healing, new babies] and the enemy just seemed to tell me this morning: it’s not your turn. god has forgot about you.
thankfully, there is VICTORY over the enemy. and he is WRONG. God has NOT forgotten about me. He has a plan, and although I cannot see it – He is going before us. I sat down on the couch this morning at my Mother in Law’s to get my laptop out to write + came across some old word docs from last summer. One of them was titled “big dreams and visions”. I am a dreamer. and I’m dreaming big things, and having faith for big things. but sometimes when the dreams and the big things seem to happen for everyone around you [and not you] you lose hope. I know, I know. but I love that God reminded me that I am right where I’m supposed to be RIGHT NOW.
that was yesterday. and thank the lord, today is a new day. I really am thankful for His grace and His mercies that are new EVERY DAY. The enemy was really sinking his teeth into me yesterday [that’s a strange picture?] and I am thankful for my hubby for speaking truth into my life last night when I literally had a hissy fit/breakdown on our way to date night. This morning I woke up praising God, and instead of asking the hard “why” questions, I want to instead FIX MY GAZE on Him. I don’t want to believe the lies, I know I am stronger than that. I want to just focus on Christ. and be thankful for where we are right now.
My bloggy/insta/adoption mama friend Alaina posted this picture on her instagram the other day and it was perfect. THAT is the scripture that God gave me back in January – to cling to his promises and have faith to believe He WILL do what he said He will. I WANT to be a woman who trusts her Jesus WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
now…onto writing some happy posts 🙂 thanks for listening.