The day I became a mom
today was, in the words of stephen elder “like the best day ever!”. It really was. We are sitting here in our guest house looking at pictures, watching video and talking about the day. The day we became parents. Stephen just told me that he thinks we just got so much closer (him & I) today than ever. The day we became parents together. I don’t want to forget any of the emotion of this day. Waking up, taking a shower, butterflies all morning, picking out a cute outfit & doing my hair (hey! we are going to have these pictures forever!), dad interviewing us on the couch before we left for the foster home. It all seems like sort of a blur now. Like on your wedding day when you are so happy & so in love and so enamored by the beauty and fulfilment of a day that is so highly anticipated that you just almost float through the day. Within 2 minutes of arriving at the foster home & waiting in the reception room, here comes one of the nannies around the corner with our asher girl. I instinctevly walked up and took her in my arms. I just remember telling her how pretty she was. Stephen started crying instantly (this is normal in our house!) and then a few seconds later they brought out camp. Stephen took him in his arms and told him we loved him and taht we had been praying for both of them. We were filled with JOY! it was a holy moment for sure. we were both laughing and crying and laughing and just looking at each other! this is for real!!! then stephen passed off camp to me & immedietly he smiled at me. THAT was the moment. This sweet little boy that we had been praying for and longing for for almost 3 years (almost 2 of adoption & 1 of TTC) was in my arms. and he SMILED at me!!! I cried. This little bundle of blessings smiled at me, I was his momma. THAT is when it became real. and oh our little asher. I kept thinking all day “what if we had said no”. We didn’t have to accept her referral when we accepted camp’s but we did – she’s our daughter. But WHAT IF we had passed it up? I can’t even imagine, I am crying again just thinking about it. She has the most fun personality. She was talking talking talking all day. She always wanted to be looking at everything & everyone around her and she didn’t cry until we were about to leave. She has stolen our hearts! and our sweet Camp, he was so shy, so quiet, so reserved, it’s like he has the wisdom of an old man already. I know he is going to be a great man of God & a world changer. But I’ll tell you what, Asher is going to rule the roost.
You know when people tell you that once you have a baby, you know what to do? That it all feels natural? I never really believed them & I’m not really a “baby” person. Babies generally scare me, I always think I’m going to drop them but the vision and fear of dropping a baby has officially left my memory. It WAS natural. I can’t even believe it, I am a mom! It’s like I knew what to do & just took control and did what needed to be done. Looking at pictures & video of myself holding them and feeding them is surreal. I know I keep saying that word, but it’s the truth -it’s how I feel.
I fell in love today. With my two sweet little ones – Camp & Asher and again with their dad who is the best dad in the world (along with my dad who was there to see it all! love you dad!).
At the end of the day right before we had to leave, I took Camp an we were walking around the room & the Lord just gave me a sense of peace of we were right where we were meant to be. I just wispered to him “this is the best job”. and it is! I know it’s not always going to be butterflies & roses – but to be their mom is the best job I could have. Thank you Lord for letting us into this blessing. For teaching us more about love than we could imagine. for adopting US into your family. for loving us & giving us the power to love them.
our last trip to ethiopia in January I remember leaving one of the orphanages we visited in tears. after having held, loved on, prayed over babies – longing for our baby to be in our arms. and today, that promise was fulfilled. and it’s not just 1 – but 2 babies. We have recieved a double portion!!
I watched the blind side on the plane yesterday & I lost it on the scene when Leanne was having lunch with her friends talking about Michael and a friend said to her, “you are changing that boys life!” and she said, “no, he’s changing mine”. Our sweet Camp + Asher are changing our lives! for the better. We can’t wait to have them HOME with us!
that’s all for now.