I feel like I could write an entire book, but I’m praying that God would give me the words to put on this page.fear.
it’s a paralyzing thing.
but 1 John 4:18 says….
right before that verse in 1 John 4:16 it says, “so we have come to know and to believe the love God has for us”.
to not only KNOW, but BELIEVE the love God has for us….that has been a prayer of mine for the past few years. and I feel like the past few weeks, God has really really opened my spiritual eyes to see. Our pastor has been talking about FEAR the past few weeks, and it’s just amazing Gods timing. The weekend before Created for Care was his first sermon. Something he said really stuck out to me then & now, “the thing or place we’ve come to fear is the exact place God wants to show us His great love”. we fear because we don’t trust, and part of not trusting is that we don’t know and/or believe gods love for us. if you are like me, you need to read that again. God loves you, God loves me more than we could ever imagine. His plans for us are GOOD. He’s a good father. He wants to lead us. He wants us to trust Him.
God has been revealing to me what my fear is.
and I have no doubt that my fears have been holding me back.
the first fear that comes to mind is the fear of losing my husband.
which is a very real fear that stems back to a dream or very real thought in junior high that either me or my husband would die young.
but my fears go deeper than that.
I fear not ever being able to have biological kids [that’s a post all of it’s own]
I fear that I won’t be able to take care of my kids the way I’m called to
I fear missing out on gods purposes for my life
I fear that what I’m passionate about, and what I feel led to aren’t where God wants me to go
and the list really could go on….
but bringing those fears to light.
and LETTING God show me His great love for me the past few weeks
well it’s wrecked my world all over again.
it’s why I’m leading this trip with my husband this summer.
we heard Bob Goff [if you don’t know who he is, order his book now + follow him on twitter] and he has an amazing story.
God has done some pretty big things in his life + his message is simple: BE NOT AFRAID.
He says over & over how amazing things happen “when we aren’t afraid anymore”
did you know the bible says “do not fear” 365 times in the bible? thats one time for every day of the year. you think the Lord is trying to get a message across to us?
I don’t want to fear. I want to bring my fear to light. I want to KNOW, really know that there is NO fear in love. I want to know that God has me where he wants me, so He can show me his great love. and showing me He is.
I am right where He wants me.
I’m stepping out. I’m saying YES. I’m not afraid anymore.
I can’t miss out on what He wants to do in my life because I’m afraid.
He is sovereign. He is in control. He has numbed my days, and I don’t want to miss out anymore because I’m fearful.
saying YES to the trip meant laying down my fear of leaving my babies behind with family.
it meant saying YES despite my fear of leading
it meant saying YES to going back to a place that is uncomfortable + stretching for me…[Uganda]
I love what Philip Knight said after we watched the Man Up & Go movie…we don’t go on these trips to love on the fatherless because we think it sounds like fun…we go because christ compels us to.
we go even when it’s out of our comfort zone, even when it scares us, because that means we have to rely on christ more.
but I pray that they encourage you.
and that they make you look at the FEAR you have, and that you pray and ask god to help you KNOW and BELIEVE the great great love he has for you.
because He sure does love you.