Faith and trust.
I want to trade my fear and doubt for faith and trust. I want to have faith, even as small as a mustard seed, and know that god is ABLE. God can fulfill his promises to me. God can heal me. God can change my circumstances. God can give me the desires of my heart.
But if not….
He is still good!!
I will still worship Him.
I will still have faith that He is able.
He is able to do immeasurably more than I could ever imagine.
The first time my heart heard the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego, it sank. I know the story. But now my heart & the Holy Spirit were telling me that I needed to have faith like these three brave Jesus followers. I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted The Lord to speak through my friend that He was going to heal me, give me the desires of my heart & all I had to do was believe. Which is what I had been doing before this point. Believing that He is able. He will fulfill his promise to me. And I will be blessed because I believed. (Luke 1:47)
But now I have to come to grips that if he DOES NOT fulfill his promise, heal me & give me the desires of my heart then I will still worship him. I will know that he is good & I will still have faith that he is able. Even if he doesn’t. That’s hard.
It was During a very powerful worship service in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with our mission team this summer that god spoke that. It was the fourth experience I had with him, his word, and a spoken word from a fellow believer regarding my situation. I want to write all of the stories down at some point as they stand as reminders to me that god is with me & he cares for me. When I need him to speak & need some fuel to keep going & not give up, he sends it. But that’s for another day.
Today I need to cling to the fact that if god does not deliver on his promise (even though I believe he is able) that I will still worship him!