that’s how I felt today en route to my first ever jigger removal clinic without my camera strapped on my body. My passion for photography has always yielded itself to help me see through a certain lens, and today that lens was taken away from me. [This both frightened and excited me]
As we drove down the red dirt road to Wakisi and again as I sat on my foot washing bench next to 8 year old Quinn Collie, I prayed that God would give me HIS eyes instead. that He would take away my own human understanding and perspective, and give me His.
I came shaky with knots in my stomach. insecure and out of my comfort zone. exposed + naked.
but also somehow FREE.
that’s how freedom starts right? We become aware of this “thing” that gets in the way between us and God. Becoming aware of this “thing” is the first step to freedom, right? we have to see what God wants us to be free from before we can be free from it.
sorta like jiggers.
a tiny sand flee burrows itself into a child’s foot, and has babies and turns into a jigger. after time, and after walking + running + playing barefoot, this child might start to become aware of this nasty jigger than has buried itself in his foot. and ya know what? Sometimes they didn’t even know it was there to begin with.
freedom comes from removing things that get in the way of walking out into the full life Jesus has for us. In my own personal search for freedom, I’ve dug up some pretty nasty stuff that I didn’t know was there.
“sometimes you have to shave off the top layer to see what you are really dealing with”
Never been wiser words by Dru Collie as I stood over his shoulder and watched him remove jigger after jigger that had been buried in this young boy’s foot. shaving off that top layer, getting to the real stuff that this young boy needed freedom from.
that top layer for me?
pride. control. self image. perfectionism. desire to win others approval. fear of judgement.
what’s underneath? honestly, those are still questions I’m asking. I’m still digging around in my inner layer, asking God to cleanse me and remove the dirt and the filth that gets in the way of walking out in true freedom. I have to trust that the Holy Spirit will do the work, and that I would continue pray and fight for cleansing, healing and freedom.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’d love to walk this road of asking those hard questions to God. What is it He needs to “shave off” to show us what exactly we are dealing with? What does that freedom look like to you?
be sure to follow all the other amazing gals on our trip by clicking this link: #bloghope