I have some friends that ask good questions, y’all. The kind of questions that make you really think. The questions you don’t ask yourself and when you are put on the spot, you are always interested in what will come out of your mouth and heart. I’ve had a few of those conversations lately, and they all seem to center on one thing: my desire to be pregnant.
There are so many things I have wanted to share on the blog with y’all about this journey we’ve been on for 5 years, and I’ve been chicken. I’ve been waiting for the “perfect time”, I’ve been waiting until I “had it together”, but what am I really waiting for? I don’t know, but I’m tired of waiting. I have felt God nudge me on more than one occasion that He wanted me to share in this journey as it was happening. Truth be told, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing with my close friends and family around me. I’ve opened up and shared a lot about my journey through infertility and I’m glad I have. But it’s still not easy, letting people in. So why would I want to let the whole world wide web in? That’s a good question. Either I’m brave or crazy.
I keep watching people around me physically, and in my online life, be brave. Take risks and do things that are not the norm. I look at them and think, I can be brave too! But then I believe the lie that I have nothing to offer, or I don’t have it together enough to really put myself out there [even more than I already have]. But I was on a walk with a mentor of mine around our neighborhood, and she reminded me who I was. She reminded me that I am not the status quo. I am not just like all of my other friends. I do not adhere to what our culture says we should do. She reminded me of the freedom I have found in Christ, to just BE ME, and be who HE made me to be instead of what the world says I should be. She reminded me that I am a rebel who wears all Target clothes to a fancy party, and I love her for that.
so starting today I am going to just be me. I’m not going to try to fit into any “category” or be like anybody else. I am simply going to be ME. I’m going to live this one wild and crazy life God has given me to the fullest. I’m going to be brave!
will you hold me to it?