fame, success, a business, or anything of the sort. I wanted a white picket
fence, the June Cleaver 1950s life, and dinner on the table when my husband got
home from work.
and praying, “Lord, please let this be positive. . . I can’t imagine waiting
another month now that I think/hope I am pregnant. I don’t think I am ‘built’
to wait another month.”
and the hurt of losing a pregnancy.
HE WILL use this for His glory.
Nate. . .but she is not going to go through this alone. She will be surrounded
is to encourage and support others who might go through the same or similar
trials after us.God has put so many people in my path to pray for and comfort after they too
have experienced loss.
He is so faithful.
Nate and I encouraged each other with “we weren’t even trying to
get pregnant and we did. . . surely we will get pregnant again soon”
Dismay. Anger. Stress. Disbelief.We felt it all.
with grace, Elizabeth. While you wait, encourage others. Use this time wisely.
Invest in your marriage. Love, honor, and delight in Nate. Good will come of
Nate would agree that his heart was changed too.
but it was different.There were no longer huge swings of highs and lows.
But a steady stream of faith.
our hearts were changed, we could weather the attacks that Satan threw at us. .
. and there were plenty.I could write a novel on the uncouth things people have said to us,
none intentionally hurtful,
but so many speak without thinking . .
and, yet, we would literally laugh to ourselves when comments were made,
identify that Satan was trying to crush our faith, and give glory to God that
we could laugh at the comments.
To look back and realize that I have never cried, gotten upset, or even really
angry over thoughtless comments people have made is totally the Lord. . .
Even though we were going through this incredibly tough journey. . . it
was apparent daily that we were not going through it alone and that Jesus
was by our side.
with the question, “Elizabeth, am I enough for you?”
security . . .
salvation, heaven, eternal life, and that He will meet our every need. . .
children and God WILL be enough if He says no. So I also prayed that if He did
say no and did not give us children that He would fill that hole in our hearts.
not going to get pregnant without medical help, Nate and I began to pray over
whether or not we should travel down the road of fertility treatments or down
the road of adoption.
to get pregnant and adopt and I have had friends do IVF 8 times.But we prayed with open hearts and felt God leading us towards the road of
I would be able to see a baby on that screen.But Clomid didn’t work. . .month, after month, after month.
McKenzie.From the second we met Dr. McKenzie, we fell in love with her. She was
compassionate and explained complex scientific procedures in a way that we
could understand. She also experienced infertility herself and used IVF to have
her own children, so she provided a unique and special view into our journey.
Test after test after test.
Before starting Clomid again, a preliminary ultrasound showed that I had a
cyst and I had to skip that cycle.At the beginning of our journey, knowing that I had to wait another month would
have sent me into a tail spin.
I remembered taking my first pregnancy test and thinking ‘there is no way I can
wait another month.’
But now, everything was so different.
I had faith that God was in control. There was a plan to help us get pregnant.
And, to be honest, it was kind of nice to be forced to take a break from
charts, pills, ultrasounds, and everything else that accompanied infertility.
We didn’t get pregnant on our month ‘off.’So we moved onto IUI.
The cyst, thankfully, went away.
‘wrong’ with us so, of course, we won’t need to do IVF. We will get pregnant
doing IUI and our journey will be over.
that we move onto IVF.We had so many questions for her. She was patient, answered all of our
questions, and acted like she had all the time in the world just for us.
After tons of research, prayer, and educating ourselves (including having two
of our doctor friends get out their textbooks and spend 2 hours talking to us),
we decided to proceed with IVF.I remember drifting off to sleep before my retrieval thinking I
cannot believe we had to do this to try to get pregnant.
So many of my friends who experienced infertility say they always ‘knew’ they
would have trouble getting pregnant.
like a dream that we had trouble at all.By saying I can’t believe we had to do IVF, I don’t mean that we felt sorry for
We were thankful that we were given the chance to do IVF. If we had been in
this situation a generation earlier, we wouldn’t have been able to have kids,
short of a miracle.
Thankfully, God gave doctors the knowledge and ability to be able to come up
with such an incredibly calculated and perfected way to help couples get
Thankfully, we had the money.
Thankfully, we had a 53% chance of success.
Thankfully, we had a patient doctor and patient ‘doctor’ friends who explained
everything to us in layman’s terms.
We went through the journey of IVF with hearts of gratitude.
physically, emotionally, and everything in between.
with everything was hard.In Nate’s words, it was ‘daunting.’
didn’t have any crazy side effects to the medicine. I was able to give myself
the shots. I am organized so keeping up with everything wasn’t too difficult
and I thankfully I had a peace and did not go through the emotional roller
coaster that so many others endure.And knowing that our journey could be over and we would have a child was worth
all of it.
that was over both of us.
that year. My bible verse during this time was “But he knows the way that I
take, when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10I wanted to shine during this time.
We were walking through a valley and I wanted Him to be glorified with every
Nate and I kept our eyes on Him and I hope that others saw Jesus through me at
even being nervous or scared.I had never had surgery before.
Never been put to sleep.
And yet there was just such a peace.
could have been.
pregnant, I wouldn’t even let myself get my hopes up.
couple of hours.
the sweetest sound in the world.
was apparent that he was there.
God is so good!