let me just start by saying this…

I never thought, nor did I ever dream, of being “the infertility girl”.

I don’t think any of us who are suffering through infertility, and openly sharing our hearts and stories online, or in ministry ever did.

but alas, here I am.  and honestly, it’s an honor.

to share my life, my struggles, and joy, my hopes and disappointments all in the middle of the journey.

I read on Haverlee’s blog this weekend, her open up and share her struggles about being separated with her husband in a post called, “trial by fire”.

I’ve found that people can fairly easily talk about those rough patches once they’re back on smooth ground. But I don’t hear people talking about it when they’re stuck in the middle; at least not outside their trusted circle of family and friends. But you know what’s even harder than walking through the toughest time in my life? Pretending I’m not. I can’t and I won’t. I will not put on a mask of perfection when my heart is aching on the best days and feels like it’s being ripped in two on the worst days. I sometimes want to hang a sign around my neck that says, “Tread lightly. Broken heart inside.”
People often tell me I’m brave for sharing my story. I don’t feel brave. I feel free. I’m free of guilt and shame. I’m free of worrying about any sort of reputation that I may or may not have. Freedom in Christ is so very real in my life. And the more I talk, the more my story is in the light and able to be used for His glory. I want others to experience that same freedom. The sin in my past is ugly. But God is already redeeming it and I think I’ve only seen a fraction of the redemption to come.