I remember the moments three summers ago when God so graciously started stirring my heart for something that breaks his.  infertility.  As someone who walked (and was walking at the time) that road, I knew the shame, unrest, and isolation that came along with such a devastating moment in a woman’s life.

It was in prayer meeting in Rwanda when God revealed the name, and around a table with clinking glasses on that same trip that I finally spoke this dream out loud.  THE CARRY CAMP.  Since then, we’ve gathered almost 40 women over the past 2 fall seasons around tables and campfires.  We’ve cried, laughed, prayed, shared stories of heartbreak and joy..we’ve become sisters.

so it’s with a heavy heart that we officially announce that the season of doing our annual retreat has come to an end.  It’s bittersweet.  Hard to believe it was THIS WEEKEND that we were supposed to be gathering around the table, around the campfire, up late in the bunk beds at Deer Run retreat center.  A good friend has been encouraging me as I process to write down 3 things that I’ll miss about this season, and 3 things that are ok to let go of.  It’s been extremely healing to my soul.

Infertility will always be a part of my story, but just like every other women who has to deal with this, it’s NOT WHO WE ARE.  The carry camp is living proof that God can use hard circumstances for our good + His glory.  Without this beloved retreat, I wouldn’t have been introduced to some of the strongest women I know.  My thoughts and prayers will always be with them.

obviously, as a person struggling through infertility – you can still have fun.  and enjoy life.  and laugh.  and that was always a huge part of what we wanted to convey at our retreats.  there are also moments that were sacred to those of us who gathered, that aren’t appropriate to share.  but let me just say: doing things WITH people you love, makes all the difference.  the thing I’ll probably miss the MOST about our annual retreats, is all the shenanigans with these two: Katie + Sarah, my sisters, my friends.

so this Saturday morning as I sip my coffee, and watch my baby girl crawl for the very first time, my heart is also with the women I’ve gotten the honor to know, serve and walk alongside of the past few years.  and if I know one thing, I know it’s not over.  once in the club-always in the club.  this will always be a part of my story, and it’s my honor to pray for + talk with those who feel alone in their struggle.  let’s connect.