Have you ever had a single conversation that you almost instantly knew had the impact to change your life?

It has been a LONG time since I’ve had such an impactful conversation, and maybe my first ever with a stranger. But a week ago today I sat across from a new friend on an airplane, and I truly believe the Lord put her there to give me a picture of what my life (especially my inner life) could look like.

I know, I know it sounds super dramatic but I am 100% serious. What started off as simple sharing of stories, and coos’s at baby Ever Joy turned into a deeper conversation about what it looks like to truly live PRESENT.

“I seek to live present wherever I am, so I missed the emails about my daughters play practice while I was on vacation this weekend”…she was so calm and peaceful about it. There wasn’t an ounce of stress, worry or anxiety in her tone. I noticed this quickly, because less than 24 hours earlier I had been a stress case on the phone hiding in the bathroom crying to my husband rattling off all the tasks, events, and to dos I was worried about coming home to the coming week. I wish I was exaggerating but I assure you I am not.

Call it perfectionism, call it hustle, call it trying to be all things to all people…but just the night before the conversation with my new friend Kari, I was done. This kind of living is not sustainable, and I knew it. But I’m a “yes girl”, I am “go girl”, and I suffer from “fomo” (aka I never want to miss out on anything ever). When I’m feeling good (which is most of the time honestly), I say yes to almost everything. I never want to disappoint people, I want to maintain whatever image I’ve created for others to see, and I’m a pleaser. It pretty much is the perfect storm.

It’s something I talk about often in my counseling sessions, and with good friends. I have notes upon notes in my phone of boundaries I want to uphold with social media, work, and my time. I even have a “yes” and “no” list with a typed out “thank you so much for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to ___” message. (ask me how many times I’ve used it 👀). But when I’m feeling good, I ignore all the boundaries. I think I can commit to one more phone conversation, one more instagram post for someone else, one more zoom call, one more you fill in the blank.

But there was something about Kari and her calmness. I asked her point blank HOW does she live this way? How does she live present in the moments? How does she not stress out about what’s on her never ending to do list and calendar as a working mom. I wanted to know what book she was reading, what podcast she listens to…..but you know as good as I do that it’s never as quick or simple as that.

She told me some things I’ve come to know over the years – that every YES to something is a NO to something (or someone) else. She told me she never says “yes” in the moment, her default is always “let me look at my calendar and get back to you”. These are all conversations and words that have come out of my mouth before, but it’s what came next that got me.

She said she then goes through that yes visually in her head, even if it’s as simple as going to lunch with a friend. She sees herself driving in her car to lunch, and then getting back in the car and going to her next thing – she said if any of it is stressful, or makes her rush from one thing to the next, she says no. And get this, “I let the guilt roll off me”.

As we were sitting on the very back row of the plane, and those words came out of her mouth I knew I had to do what it takes to live that way too. She exuded peace and presence. She was present with me in those moments in the air, and I knew even then what a gift they were.

so here we are. This week I turned 37 and this mantra is my hope and prayer going into this year.

“I am completely present wherever I am” ♥️

It’s time for a change, and I am ready for it!.

It feels good to write this way again. I hope this encourages you, and makes you think (like it has made me!). Because I am going to be practicing presence, until I figure out what it looks like to do that and show up online, you’ll mostly be able to find me here on the blog. Or on my weekly email. I always love to hear from yall via email, so feel free to reach out!