lets trade comparison for celebration

toddler trenches.

y’all, if anyone was there right now….this has been such a challenging week of parenting for me.  Think knots on my forehead from a certain child hitting me over and over with his sippy cup.  crying on the couch as Asher comforts me, “it’s ok mama” while she hugs and kisses me.  lots of frustration, and sighs, and embarrassed looks as my children run wild and free at our local natural foods store.

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it’s been tough, but y’all I’m so thankful for this community.

for my friends in my city who speak life to me.  who text me encouraging words and scriptures and bring me “am I messing up my kids” book hours after a meltdown [by my child, and frankly me too]

for my instagram friends who gave me some stellar advice on said knot on head, thank you.  #boymom problem

something happens when we open up, and show our real selves with each other.  when we admit we don’t have it all together.  when we ask for wisdom and advice from each other.  when we simply let our guard down.

this past weekend Stephen was at a retreat with his Man Up guys, and since I hate being home alone, me and the kids loaded up and drove 300 miles to spend 2 days with my best friend Brynn and her family.  If there was any of my peers that I look up to/would strive to model their parenting- it would probably be Brynn.

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she’s the fun mom.  she’s creative and spunky and full of energy.  she and I were church rec majors together in college for goodness sake.  she’s on the floor playing with her girls.  making up games, building forts, going on scavenger walks around the neighborhood, playing “jake and the neverland pirates” at the park with all the kids while us moms chat. she’s not only fun but she’s kind. she’s intentional.  she loves well and listens hard.  I’ve never seen her raise her voice or get frustrated with her kids [not saying she never has, but just saying I haven’t seen it].  She’s up early and up late and doesn’t even like coffee [what’s wrong with her?].  She inspires the crap outta me.

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to say we had an absolute blast at her house would be an understatement.  my kiddos [and their mama] were worn out at the end of our two day fest.  I digress…

you should also know that her home is amazingly beautiful, her girls are well dressed, and she knows how to throw a legit party.  am I making you not like her?  for real, you would love her!  no, you would adore her [like I do].  let me go on.  she’s the most encouraging and affirming friend.  I watched her affirm the gifts of her friends every chance she got.  She looked them in the eye and spoke truth and encouragement.  I watched as her house [much like mine] is a revolving door of friends.  people coming by to borrow something, drop off a gift, bring their kids in to play for a min….her home is an open door and so is her heart.

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ya want to know something really ugly about my heart?  the first day – I totally got stuck in the comparison trap.  I couldn’t simply celebrate all the amazing things my best friend is gifted in, oh no.  I had to feel insecure in my own abilities instead.

what is it with us women and our comparison game?   why do we let the enemy in our head and tell us these lies?  lies that we aren’t good enough.  or we won’t ever measure up.  or because I don’t do it their way, it must not be the right way.

I don’t know about you, but this has been a very real struggle for me for most of my life.

I want my house to be as picked up as hers, and as beautiful as hers.  I want my peers to respect me as much as hers respect her.  I want to really want to get on the floor and play with my kids instead of “getting stuff done” all the time.

I think we, or at least, I idolize people.  I see them from afar, or even from close up, and wonder “how does she do it all?” 

Well I woke up this morning [Wednesday] with a new mindset.  why do we continue to play comparison?  why can’t we CELBRATE how God made each of us?  He made some of us to love to clean, and some to love the chaos, some to be crafty and some to be business-y, some to cook all organic and some to not even care.  it doesn’t matter!  we are ALL his precious daughters, and we can celebrate who God made each of us to be!  

I love my best friend, Brynn.  even though she doesn’t love coffee, wine, or accessorizing.  [I know, how are we even friends?] even though she schools me in crafts + party planning + baking + a host of other things.  I’m learning that those things don’t matter – what matters is we are each secure in who we each are in Christ! 

I’m going to stop comparing my parenting to her’s [and other mom friends I have] and be content to be ME.  I’m the best mom  for MY kids, just like my friends are the best moms for THEIR kids.  

there is such freedom in that.

and at the end of the day…we are all just in the trenches together.  I would like to submit that we can more than survive – we can THRIVE.  let’s encourage each other, speak life into each others giftings, and LOVE the heck out of each other.  we need each other.  and mostly, we need Jesus every step of the way.

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is there a mom friend in your life you can call today and encourage?  we all need it, let’s give it!   how about it….

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*I stumbled across this blog [House of Rose] and she’s super passionate about what I just wrote about!   She says on the end of her blog promo…” love the life you are living!”  YES!!!!

Hey, I'm Wynne!

Hi, friend! First, I truly am so giddy that you are here. I want you to know I 100% believe in you and all the ways you are growing towards living a more intentional life. I can’t wait to get to know you and your story, and I genuinely hope you are encouraged from our time together here.

A little about me, I’m a type 7 on the enneagram, a total extrovert + people lover, entrepreneur, connector, storyteller, people gatherer, and passionate wife, mama + friend. I feel most alive when I’m exploring new places and surrounded by people I love. Give me a day in the outdoors disconnected from wifi, and I am a happy girl. I run on oat milk lattes, Jesus, gratitude journaling and kitchen dance parties with my three kids.
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  1. Debbe Trippet says:

    “To compare is to despair”
    Very good post. I think every woman can relate!

  2. Love, love, love this! it’s so easy to get caught up in this trap and forget that god has made us uniquely his own. you’re so right, let’s celebrate each other, build each other up and encourage one another. i think this goes not for just mamas but for all women really. mom or not we as women need to stand by each other and build each other up no matter what are stage.

  3. Claire Hogg says:

    Amen! A great lesson to learn young… and unfortunately for me, relearn often. You are the best mom for your children–and your life… Embrace that gift!

  4. Kathryn Perry Shirey says:

    Have SO been there in those moments where parenting is tough and we’re caught in that comparison trap – seeing other moms doing everything so seemingly right and effortlessly, while we’re struggling and not seeming to measure up. Love your call to celebrate, not compare. We’re each called to different families and different children. We can each be the best mom for our children, even if we’re different moms from each other. Great post!

  5. Chantel Klassen says:

    This post was so timely Wynne. I read it and then the very next week I met a mama that made me feel like a bad mother -not because of anything she said but just because she is such a good mother. She’s so sweet and gentle, two things I am so often NOT. It was great to come back to this post and be encouraged. Keep writing sister 🙂

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