real siblings.

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these are our beautiful children, Camp + Asher.  Born in Ethiopia, and brought home to their forever family in October 2012.  Their birthday’s are 3.5 weeks apart, and they just turned four.  They’ve been together since they were 1 month old, sleeping in cribs next to each other in an orphanage, then in Midland + Bryan sharing a room.  Ashers side is pink with a butterfly quilt, and Camp’s is red with dinosaurs.  They love to keep each other up late jabbering, they wake up early telling stories, and read all the books during “nap time”.   They are our real children, they are real siblings, we are their real parents.  here we go, let’s break this down.

a few times in the past few weeks, strangers + acquaintances alike look at my kids and ask me the same question: “are they real siblings?”

now, while I know the intention of this question is not meant to offend or hurt, it still sorta stings.  What I think people mean to ask is, “are they biological siblings?”, and I want to have a lot of grace to help them find their words! At the beginning of our adoption process, things that people said (like this) made me angry, I  could get hateful in my mind.  but, over time I’ve taken up the cause of education.

the thing is, as my kids are getting older, they hear and absorb everything.  they pick up on things we say on the phone, to our neighbor, heck – the memorize jingles they hear on tv!  Their adoption stories are complicated, but they are their stories.  As they grow older, they of coarse will be able to comprehend more what it means that while they are indeed siblings, they were not birthed from the same mama.  They still are, as all they’ve ever known, siblings.

the same kind of siblings that you have – siblings that fight over toys, squeal with joy playing hide-and-seek, miss each other while they are at 2 different schools, know how to press each others buttons, and love each other like crazy.  They are almost like twins.  and, while I know I did not experience pregnancy and childbirth of TWO babies at once (bless all you twin mamas!), I still like to think of them as such.

that’s something people ask too – are they twins?  Honestly, to the random stranger at the grocery store, YES they are twins.  to someone who is going to be a part of our lives, “no they are 3.5 weeks apart!  but basically it’s like raising twins!”

I don’t write this to condemn you, or make you feel bad.  I write this to let you know that families are birthed in different ways, and they aren’t always defined by blood, but simply by LOVE.  So if you see a mama with kiddos that “don’t look like her” around town, and you feel the need to strike up a conversation, do it with grace, approach it with as much understanding you can, and know that her children are listening to both your questions, and their mamas response.

I read a great book my friend Jolie sent us this week called, People aren’t socks, by Liza Dora.  It had a great message: People aren’t socks, they don’t have to match! 

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so, YES, Camp + Asher are real siblings.  no doubt about that!

and on a lighter note, if you wouldn’t ask it about a boob job – don’t ask it about an adoption.  

Hey, I'm Wynne!

Hi, friend! First, I truly am so giddy that you are here. I want you to know I 100% believe in you and all the ways you are growing towards living a more intentional life. I can’t wait to get to know you and your story, and I genuinely hope you are encouraged from our time together here.

A little about me, I’m a type 7 on the enneagram, a total extrovert + people lover, entrepreneur, connector, storyteller, people gatherer, and passionate wife, mama + friend. I feel most alive when I’m exploring new places and surrounded by people I love. Give me a day in the outdoors disconnected from wifi, and I am a happy girl. I run on oat milk lattes, Jesus, gratitude journaling and kitchen dance parties with my three kids.
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  1. B Noble says:

    Oh my heart, Camp and Asher are such beautiful children!! Thank you for writing this! ❤️ I feel often that adoption may be in the future for me and my husband so I am often excited and curious when I see families woven together by adoption and want to ask questions, but almost never do because I know that it can be easy to misspeak or use the wrong words even with the right intention when you don’t already know the special story behind the family and what words might come with a hidden meaning that I may be ignorant or oblivious to, and I would never want to give children or parents that feeling! I truly and wholeheartedly love and appreciate messages and stories like yours that answer questions and educate through social media and blogs so that I can learn and grow while possibly preparing my heart for a similar journey with our family…

  2. sarah roney says:

    So well spoken! I get these sort of questions all the time with Judah and Jalayna! Love your closing thought- ha!

  3. Sarah Tew says:

    I just wanted to simply say that I love reading your blog and so appreciate your heart for adoption. And even more your willingness to share about it! My husband and I are in the midst of a domestic adoption and have learned so much over the past year! Thanks for leading the way!!

  4. Julie Hood says:

    I love this! I found your blog through an old Happy Hour podcast, and I’m so glad I did. This is so great!

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