my best friend Brynn says this thing to me about arrows a lot.  when I tell her of yet another challenge in parenting, infertility, marriage, finances…she simply says, “it’s just another arrow in your arsenal of faith, Wynne”.  It’s something I’ve swirled around in my head and heart enough to know she’s right – these challenges we face, while mostly unexpected, are just tools in my hands to grow my faith.

Through all these “arrows”, God has shown me more of himself.  Psalm 34:10 says “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing”, and in the seeking – I’ve only gotten more of him.  and now?

there’s a different kind of arrow.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the children of one’s youth.
 Blessed is the man
    who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. – psalm 127:3-5

you read that right…

we are adding yet another arrow to our quiver in February!

We took these photos on the way up to American Basin in our beloved Lake, City Colorado earlier this month.  This place, and the journey to get there!, is such a representation of our 7 year journey with infertility.  The road was windy, long, and rocky.  We couldn’t always see what was ahead, yet there was beauty in unexpected places and spots of respite and covering.  It was bumpy +twisty — it was certainly a struggle.  But the view! oh the joy of the view was WORTH it when you turn that last stretch and see the abundance and beauty of that basin.

struggle + beauty.  

“yet you have brought us to a place of abundance” Psalm 66:12

“I believe that I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living” Psalm 27:3

It’s my prayer, that after all these years of openly sharing my struggle with infertility – that this can be a time to celebrate, and that our story would bring you a glimmer of HOPE and JOY!  I can tell you honestly that I’ve battled some fear in sharing this news, knowing that there are so many others (many close to me) that are still in a season of waiting, and my heart will always be tender.  I know what it’s like, and it hurts but I also know we aren’t given a spirit of fear! We are beloved sons + daughters.  (I digress) I won’t give you any false hope or promises, but I want to say to the women painfully waiting: JESUS is your prize!

I know it might seem “easy” for me to say now, but truth is I’ve learned (sometimes painfully) through the years that the prize is not a baby, nor healing, nor things going the way I want them to: faith is the prize,  Jesus is our prize.  HE is enough! Sisters,let’s want HIM more than the “stuff” He can give us.  Press into Him, seek Him, He can be trusted with your longing.  He is where we put our Hope, he is our ONLY HOPE!

Proverbs 13:12 starts, “hope deferred makes the heart sick” — don’t let your hope be deferred.  no matter what you are  waiting on, sister.  Romans 5 tells us that hope doesn’t put us to shame.  dare to hope!  While it is a struggle to hope, it’s something we must dare to do because putting off hope makes our heart sick.

I love this by Sara Haggerty in her post I will not defer, “my wrestle with hope is a wrestle to believe, again, that God is good…to me” 

Let’s believe that while we struggle to hope, our faith will grow, and God gives us a shield of faith in our hand to extinguish the fiery darts of the evil one (Ephesians 6).  You are not alone!

let’s dare to hope!